To be fully alive and whole, we need to embrace not only our positive emotions (e.g., joy, happiness, pleasure, pride) but also the “negative” ones (e.g., sadness, fear, anger, frustration). Each time we deny our natural “negative” emotions, we deny access to a part of ourselves and we become less alive. Instead of showing the “real” us, we show only a part of ourselves to the world. Positivity is beneficial as long as it is not a way to cover up and repress our natural and human emotions. Being human and alive is embracing the full spectrum of our emotions when they appear, in the moment. Let’s celebrate and nurture our humanness and beautiful vulnerability!
When we are judged negatively by someone else (or afraid of being judged), the most painful is not so much the other person’s judgement (or imagined judgement) than our own negative judgement on ourselves, and how this external judgement hit us at a place where we are already judging ourselves harshly. Being aware of our own negative judgement on ourselves and developing compassion and acceptance for all the parts of ourselves (including, and especially, the parts we don’t like) is the first step to self-grow and change. As paradoxical as it may seem, the more you accept yourself as you are, the more you change.