How kind are you being to yourself?

How kind are you being to yourself?

How kind are you being to yourself?

Really.


As I mentioned in my previous post, I spent eight weeks traveling in France and Mexico this summer, for a combo of vacation and remote work. It was one of my 2021 intentions coming true and I loved it.

What I have not told you is that It took me two full weeks to readjust to my life in California after all this time away. During those two weeks, I had not much desire to do any work stuff except my clients’ calls. 

I noticed last Saturday how hard I was on myself because there was business stuff that I had not done yet or important emails I had not followed upon.

Then, I realized how during those past two weeks, I was just not in an emotional and mental space to focus on my business as much. It is not that I was “lazy” or “unproductive” (as my inner critic wanted me to believe), it is simply that my system—emotional, mental, and physical—needed time to reset and reintegrate into my life here, after such a deep connected experience in my native land. I needed integration time. I’ve noticed over the years that the longer and deeper the experience is, whether travel, retreat, or training, the longer the integration back will need to be. And it is important to honor that. There is no bypassing it. This is a natural process, as natural as the change of seasons or the blossoming of a flower.

Being kind to yourself is giving compassion for that part who needs integration time, instead of judging it. Would you judge a flower for the time it takes to blossom? or the seasons for the process it takes to go from one to the next?

Well, now I feel at peace with exactly where I am at, what I’ve done and what I’ve not done yet. I feel relaxed about it and know that all will be done in its natural timing. My energy and motivation to invest in my life and business in California are back. They just went back naturally when I was ready, without forcing it or trying to make it happen. As things happen in nature. Organically and effortlessly.

  • Are you letting things unfold in their own natural timing or are you forcing things to happen before the timing is right?
  • Are you going with the flow of the river of life while taking the necessary actions you are called to take–this does not mean being passive–, or are you trying to push against the flow of the river in your life?

The second option is exhausting, will make everything hard, and will often not get you where you want to go. Rather the opposite.

Wishing you kindness and compassion towards yourself.

With love,

Isabelle 


Photo: In Her Image Photography 
 

Embrace the positive and the negative

To be fully alive and whole, we need to embrace not only our positive emotions (e.g., joy, happiness, pleasure, pride) but also the “negative” ones (e.g., sadness, fear, anger, frustration). Each time we deny our natural “negative” emotions, we deny access to a part of ourselves and we become less alive. Instead of showing the “real” us, we show only a part of ourselves to the world. Positivity is beneficial as long as it is not a way to cover up and repress our natural and human emotions. Being human and alive is embracing the full spectrum of our emotions when they appear, in the moment. Let’s celebrate and nurture our humanness and beautiful vulnerability!

The most painful is our own self-judgement, not others’

When we are judged negatively by someone else (or afraid of being judged), the most painful is not so much the other person’s judgement (or imagined judgement) than our own negative judgement on ourselves, and how this external judgement hit us at a place where we are already judging ourselves harshly. Being aware of our own negative judgement on ourselves and developing compassion and acceptance for all the parts of ourselves (including, and especially, the parts we don’t like) is the first step to self-grow and change. As paradoxical as it may seem, the more you accept yourself as you are, the more you change.