When we are judged negatively by someone else (or afraid of being judged), the most painful is not so much the other person’s judgement (or imagined judgement) than our own negative judgement on ourselves, and how this external judgement hit us at a place where we are already judging ourselves harshly. Being aware of our own negative judgement on ourselves and developing compassion and acceptance for all the parts of ourselves (including, and especially, the parts we don’t like) is the first step to self-grow and change. As paradoxical as it may seem, the more you accept yourself as you are, the more you change.